Gossip Blog Wars!

Celebutard Justice at last!

2007-06-09T07:04:00.000-06:00

The story:
Paris Hilton has been sent back to jail to serve her full 45 day sentence.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Hilton is back at the Lynwood Hilton
A Socialite's Life says: Paris Hilton going back to jail; someone finally had a lick of sense in their head
Best Week Ever says: Paris is going back to jail!
Cele|bitchy says: Paris going back to jail!
Defamer says: Judge orders Paris back to jail, immediate halt of all cupcake deliveries
Dlisted says: Paris has to serve entire 45 days!
Egotastic says: Paris Hilton is going back to jail!!!!!
The Evil Beet says: Paris is going back to jail
Haute Gossip says: Paris slapped back in jail. This time for the full 45 days. There is a God.
Hollywood Rag says: Crying Paris Hilton goes back to the slammer
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Paris Hilton back to jail, back to 45 days minus 5
I'm Not Obsessed says: Paris Hilton is going back to jail
Lainey Gossip says: Rocky rules!!!
Popsugar says: Paris back to jail!!!!!
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Paris is going back to jail for her 45 day sentence
The Superficial says: Paris Hilton ordered back to jail
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Paris is back in jail

Who said it best:
It's hard to stop smiling long enough to pick a winner, so here are three:

Judge Sauer wasted little time in telling Paris to go directly to jail: do not go home, do not stop at Hyde for a last round of drinks. (Agent Bedhead)

Ladies and gentlemen, if life were a movie, this would be the point when you turn to your friend and say “This is the best movie ever made.” (Best Week Ever)

Some witnesses say they saw a rainbow above the courtroom. And others say they saw a giant man in the clouds with a white beard nodding his head approvingly. And 0me? Well I saw Judge Michael Sauer grow to be twelve feet tall, with muscles the size of tree trunks. And when he smiled, little cartoon hearts appeared above my head and there was a strange tingling sensation in my pants. (The Superficial)

Image via INF Photo

Carpet, drapes, match

2007-02-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears shaved her head and got a couple of new tattoos over the weekend.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Britney Spears is now bald all over
A Socialite's Life says: The unraveling of Britney Spears
Cele|bitchy says: Britney Spears loses her sh*t, hair
Celebrity Hijinx says: Britney is bald
Defamer says: Newly bald Britney Spears makes tragically unfashionable cry for help in the valley
Dlisted says: Let the ratty wig wearing begin!
Egotastic says: Britney Spears bald: she shaved her own head
Faded Youth says: Britney goes bald
Haute Gossip says: Britney's lost the plot
Hollywood Rag says: Britney Spears shaves head for a wig
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Britney Spears is a bald-headed nightmare
Lainey Gossip says: Britney: the breakdown
Mollygood says: Britney's publicist says, "F&ck it!"
Popsugar says: Britney shaves her head
The Superficial says: Britney Spears shaved her head completely bald
Tabloid Whore says: Britney Spears shaves her head
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Britney's big night out
Yeeeah says: Britney Spears is f-ing bald

Who said it best:
Everyone is speculating what brought about this latest cry for help, but Celebrity Hijinx seems to have found the answer:

Havin' hair and two kids is hard y'all.

Image via People

No, no just no

2007-01-26T16:02:00.000-07:00

The story:
In a story that he must have planted himself as some kind of sick twisted practical joke, George Clooney is reportedly dating Pamela Anderson.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: George Clooney hates his penis
Cele|bitchy says: George Clooney get your cootie shots!
CelebNewsWire says: Does this mean a George Clooney public face-licking is in our future?
Dlisted says: This isn't helping those gay rumors
Faded Youth says: Does George Clooney have a new beard?
Gabsmash says: Pam Anderson is dating George Clooney
The Superficial says: Pamela Anderson and George Clooney might be dating

Who said it best:
Cele|bitchy is looking on the bright side:

The only good thing about this hook-up is that we can be sure it won’t last long.

Image via Agent Bedhead

Kfed not even employable in fast food industry

2007-01-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

The story:
The National Restaurant Association was insulted by Kfed's depiction of a fast food worker in an upcoming commercial to be aired during the Super Bowl.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Federline ad angers restaurant industry
A Socialite's Life says: Kevin Federline's Super Bowl ad causing drama
Celebrity Hijinx says: Fast food workers and their dying souls
Defamer says: Fast food industry bristles at suggestion that Kfed is qualified to work drive thru window
Faded Youth says: Kfed disgraces the fast food industry
Mollygood says: Federline vs Fast Food Nation
Starpulse News says: Kevin Federline commercial angers fast food workers

Who said it best:
Defamer thinks the NRA is kicking the Kfed while he's down:

Federline just can't seem to catch a break, however, as his biggest gig since, well, ever, is now under fire from a restaurant association that takes issue with the commercial's implication that a fate of flipping burgers was somehow less desirable than, say, spending your days getting baked in your birthday Lamborghini.

Paris' privates on view for $40

2007-01-25T09:11:00.000-07:00

The story:
A new website is selling off some of Paris Hilton's belongings that were left in a storage locker, including nude photos and video.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Paris Hilton for sale
Best Week Ever says: Latest scandalous "Paris site" confirms everything we already knew about Paris Hilton
Cele|bitchy says: Paris' precious moments
CelebNewsWire says: "I got f*cked in the butt for coke!"
Defamer says: Today's opportunity to see Paris Hilton engaging in videotaped sex acts
Dlisted says: Do you really want to see Paris taking a bubble bath?
Egotastic says: Paris Hilton exposed...again
FHollywood Rag says: Paris Hilton exposed
I Don't Like You In That Way says: You can buy Paris Hilton's crap
Mollygood says: Paris Hilton overexposed
Popsugar says: Paris very very very exposed
The Superficial says: Paris Hilton gets exposed
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Paris Hilton is for sale

Who said it best:
No need to spend the 40 bucks yourself when Best Week Ever will sum up the site's contents for you:

So there you have it - sift through a little of Paris’ trashy trash and have your minds blown by all the documented evidence suggesting that she’s kind of slutty and stupid.

Deviated septum?

2007-01-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

The story:
Jennifer Aniston reportedly had work done on her nose to correct a deviated septum.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Jennifer Aniston gives the ol' schaz an overhaul
Best Week Ever says: Jen will become prettier than Angelina, even if it takes all the plastic surgery in the world
Dlisted says: Did Aniston get a nose job?
I'm Not Obsessed says: Jennifer Aniston had work done on her nose
Lainey Gossip says: Deviated septum is the new appendicitis
Mollygood says: Jen changes noses mid-fame
Popsugar says: The one where Jennifer Aniston fixes botched surgery
The Superficial says: Jennifer Aniston gets another nose job

Who said it best:
The Superficial may have found the real reason behind the repair work:

This all feels like a sad attempt to get Brad Pitt back. Next she's gonna get some boob implants, hire some model/actor to play her boyfriend, and then accidentally run into Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at their home wearing lingerie. "Oh, what are the odds of seeing you here? Oops, I dropped my pencil."

Image via Yeeeah

A years worth of AA may finally pay off

2007-01-18T07:53:00.000-07:00

The story:
In the least surprising news since Britney Spears kicked Kfed to the curb, Lindsay Lohan finally checked into rehab.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Lindsay Lohan takes the cure
A Socialite's Life says: Lindsay Lohan checks herself into rehab!
Celebrity Hijinx says: Le fall de la Lohan
Cele|bitchy says: Lohan's in rehab
CelebNewsWire says: Lindsay Lohan rehabs self
Defamer says: Lindsay Lohan enters rehab, taking first step towards becoming fully adequite
Dlisted says: Blohan goes to rehab
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan enters rehab, hell freezes over
Faded Youth says: The inevitable happens: Lilo enters rehab
Glitterati Gossip says: Lindsay Lohan enters rehab
Haute Gossip says: Blohan's entered rehab
Hollywood Rag says: Lindsay Lohan enters rehab
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Lindsay Lohan goes to rehab
I'm Not Obsessed says: Lindsay Lohan checks into rehab
Lainey Gossip says: Saving Lindsay Lohan
Mollygood says: Time to (ade)quit drinking
Popsugar says: Lohan enters rehab!!
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: About time...Lindsay Lohan in rehab
The Superficial says: Lindsay Lohan enters rehab
Tabloid Whore says: Lindsay Lohan finally enters rehab
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Lindsay Lohan enters rehab
Yeeeah says: Lindsay Lohan enters rehab

Who said it best:
Haute Gossip thinks Linds is just following the trend here:

Seriously, rehab is the new black ain't it? All the cool kids get hooked and then check in.

Image via Best Week Ever

Is there another bun in that overexposed oven?

2007-01-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears is rumoured to be pregnant with her 3rd child. No word on who the father might be.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Britney has got to keep her knees shut
A Socialite's Life says: Oh Brit-Brit, say it ain't so
Best Week Ever says: Out of ideas for improving her image, has Britney gotten herself pregnant again?
Celebitchy says: Please don't let Britney be pregnant again
Defamer says: Does Britney have a bun of indeterminate parentage in the oven?
Dlisted says: Is Brit Brit knocked up again?
Egotastic says: Please tell me Britney Spears isn't pregnant again
Popsugar says: Britney pregnant again???
Tabloid Whore says: Rumors swirl that Britney is pregnant again
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Again?

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever can smell a comeback in the works:

But what better way to repair her polluted reputation in the eye of the press than bringing another life into the world, perhaps one who’s not even sure which wifebeater-wearing Vanilla Ice wannabe is its father - and is likely braindamaged due to its mother’s constantly mainlining Smirnoff Ice mixed with Red Bull?

Hey hey Paula

2007-01-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

The story:
Paula Abdul appeared to be drunk on a morning talk show.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Paula Abdul is high
Best Week Ever says: Yay! Paula Abdul is drunker than ever!
Defamer says: Paula Abdul suspicious incoherence preview
Dlisted says: Paula Abdul: "I've never been drunk in my life!"
Evilbeet says: Paula Abdul absolutely blasted out of her mind
Faded Youth says: Mmmm....painkillers
Gawker says: Paula Abdul, drunker than usual even on live TV
Glitterati Gossip says: Paula Abdul: back on the sauce?
Haute Gossip says: Paula is my new favourite
Hollywood Rag says: What's wrong with Paula Abdul?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Paula Abdul is a mess
Mollygood says: Paula Abdul has never been drunk
The Superficial says: Paula Abdul promotes American Idol, forgets her brain
Tabloid Whore says: Oh Paula
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Paula Abdul is drunk. Again.

Who said it best:
I Don't Like You In That Way is impressed with Paula's range:

It's one of the best Kirk Douglas impressions I've seen. I didn't know she was this talented.

Now we now where Lilo gets the classy from

2007-01-12T15:42:00.000-07:00

The story:
Dina Lohan was spotted in a NY restaurant being digitally serviced by a male friend.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Dina Lohan's gonna fake an appendectomy any day now
Celebitchy says: Lindsay's mom gets fingered at dinner
CelebNewsWire says: Ali Lohan sure has a lot to live up to
Celebrity Hijinx says: Dina's dining etiquette
Dlisted says: Like daughter, like mother and vice versa
Faded Youth says: The one-finger salute
Haute Gossip says: Mama Lohan gets fingered
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Dina Lohan is slutty too
Lainey Gossip says: Dina Lohan, finger follies
Mollygood says: Dinasaurus enjoys the digital age
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Dina Lohan is friendly
Yeeeah says: Lohan DNA ripe with skankiness

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire knows there is a plausible explanation for all this:

We're sure the kindly gentleman had heard about Lindsay's recent battle with appendicitis and, fearing such things run in families, was checking for inflammation. He was concerned about Dina's health, obviously.

Image via Lainey Gossip

Any warm-blooded mammal will do

2007-01-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

The story:
Tara Reid is Down Under doing some paid promotional work, which included swimming with dolphins.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Tara Reid gives dolphin mouth AIDS
Dlisted says: What has this dolphin done to deserve this?
Faded Youth says: A day in the life of Tara Reid
The Gilded Moose says: Blowhole violated
I'm Not Obsessed says: Tara Reid swims with a dolphin
Mollygood says: God, Tara, stop looking so desparate
TMZ says: Tara Reid gets fishy down under

Who said it best:
Dlisted is putting a call in to PETA:

When asked about his experience, the dolphin said “I have warts on my damn a-hole! WARTS ON MY A-HOLE! Who’s going to love me now? They paid me overtime for this, but still! My life is over! What was magical for her was a nightmare for me!”

Image via Dlisted

Bionic Bikini Woman, starring Lindsay Lohan

2007-01-11T17:44:00.000-07:00

The story:
Lindsay Lohan was photographed running down the street in Miami wearing high heels, a bikini, and holding a cigarette. No, really! Here's the full picture to prove it.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Run Lohan run
Best Week Ever says: Last call at the cabana bar
CelebNewsWire says: Running with ciggers
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan thinks she's on Baywatch
Mollygood says: Physical fitness the Lohan way
The Superficial says: Lindsay Lohan runs down the street in her bikini
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Cigarettes must be on sale

Who said it best:
Egotastic may have an explanation:

Maybe she just heard the news that her liver is fucked, and she's running to the grocery store to get a new one. Unfortunately for her, there's a dress code at the grocery store, and paté isn't going to do her much good.

Image via Agent Bedhead

Here come the Beckhams

2007-01-11T15:25:00.000-07:00

The story:
David Beckham has signed to play for the MLS LA Galaxy starting in August.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: David Beckham and his wife's boobies kiss Europe goodbye
A Socialite's Life says: "Give me your perfectly manicured, your trendy. Your well coiffed masses..."
Best Week Ever says: Posh and Becks to begin stealing valuable American oxygen
Defamer says: British tabloid industry reaches landmark deal to export leading attention whores to Los Angeles
Dlisted says: The Becks are coming!!!
Haute Gossip says: Beckham now the 250 million dollar man
Hollywood Rag says: The Beckhams are coming to LA
I'm Not Obsessed says: David Beckham really does love me
Lainey Gossip says: Becks: exit Spain, enter LA
Mollygood says: David Beckham moves to LA, takes up important role as Maddox's personal coach
Popsugar says: The Beckhams are coming to America
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Posh scores her goal! David Beckham signs with the LA Galaxy
The Superficial says: David and Victoria Beckham moving to America

Who said it best:
For Defamer, the "Made in America" label still means something:

We are wholeheartedly against the idea of foreign attention whores stealing away scarce Lohan-diddling and vagina-flashing opportunities from our homegrown celebutards, and we'd rather see our native paparazzi burn down Los Angeles rather than forfeit their turf to the coming wave of alien guerrilla photographers who will soon be dispatched to document the Beckhams' every Starbucks visit.

Drew not so Fab anymore

2007-01-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

The story:
Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend of 5 years Fabrizio Morettie have broken up again.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Drew Barrymore and BF "on a break"
Dlisted says: Cameron's bff also newly single
EFaded Youth says: Another Hollywood break-up
I'm Not Obsessed says: Drew Barrymore splits with Fabrizio Moretti
Lainey Gossip says: Drew and Fab: over...again?
Popsugar says: Drew and Fabrizio on another break
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Drew Barrymore no longer has mad love for Fabrizio Moretti?

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life sees the writing on the wall as far as any reunion goes:

"Drew said they needed time off." And I think we all know what that means. That's right, the sputtering death throes of a relationship usually involve a few "breaks" before the break-up actually takes.

Marilyn Manson is really creeeeeeepy

2007-01-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

The story:
Marilyn Manson is reportedly getting it on with 19-year old Evan Rachel Wood.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Marilyn Manson: one bitch is as good as another
A Socialite's Life says: Evan Rachel Wood REALLY wants to stick it to her parents
Celebitchy says: Marilyn Manson dating Evan Rachel Wood?
CelebNewsWire says: Evan Rachel Wood becomes Marilyn Manson's disposable teen
Dlisted says: Evan Rachel Wood is stupido
Egotastic says: Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson shouldn't be dating
Glitterati Gossip says: Evan Rachel Wood a factor in the Manson / Von Teese split
Hollywood Rag says: Marilyn Manson dating a 19-year old
I'm Not Obsessed says: Marilyn Manson has moved on with Evan Rachel Wood
Mollygood says: Marilyn Manson is dating Evan Rachel Wood, obviously
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Is Marilyn Manson dating an actress half his age?
Tabloid Whore says: Evan Rachel Wood dating Marilyn Manson??
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson

Who said it best:
Mollygood is not surprised by this hookup:

Well I, for one, totally saw this couple coming. I mean, really guys, you're pretty blind if you didn't call this pairing from miles away.

Image via A Socialite's Life

Paris to concentrate on acting

2007-01-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

The story:
Parasite Hilton's New Year's resolution is to seriously concentrate on her acting career. Seriously.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Someone give that woman an Oscar
Celebslam says: "One Night in Paris" wins Best Actress Oscar
Celebrity Hijinx says: Brace yourself: Paris Hilton is one book away from being a serious actress
Dlisted says: Paris Hilton is the next Meryl Streep
Hollywood Rag says: Paris Hilton actually reads
Metadish says: Paris Hilton is ready to get serious
Mollygood says: Paris Hilton is comedy gold
The Superficial says: Paris Hilton is a serious actress

Who said it best:
Celebrity Hijinx thinks Hilton's upcoming pic has a good chance at being better than any of her previous projects:

The atomic bomb of her debut album apparently erased any memory of the previous atomic bombs of her acting gigs: ‘House of Wax’ and ‘Pledge This!’ She now wants to become a serious actress and is going to prove it to us in her upcoming romantic comedy ‘The Hottie and the Nottie,' (I smell an Oscar). She is determined for it to be her best big screen project to date - a bar set as high as a limbo stick at a cockroach birthday party.

Well, she's had a lot of experience acting surprised when her nips and cooter slip out.

Image via FlyNetOnline

Rosie and Donald and Barbara, oh my

2007-01-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

The story:
Barabara Walters has been dragged into the feud between The Donald and Rosie.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: As the war slowly becomes a quagmire
A Socialite's Life says: Rosie and Trump: round 34,673 alpha quadrant niner
Celebitchy says: Trump can't let it go
Celebrity Hijinx says: Somebody fire Donald Trump
Defamer says: Donald Trump sends Rosie O'Donnell and family his regards
Dlisted says: Trump's letter to Rosie
Faded Youth says: Round 10
Haute Gossip says: More schoolkid mudslinging, Trump styles
I'm Not Obsessed says: Donald Trump writes to Rosie O'Donnell
Lainey Gossip says: Cagematch at The View
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Round whatever: Rosie vs The Donald
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Rosie got PWN3D. Again. Bad.

Who said it best:
Agent Bedhead doesn't see an end in site to this one:

The Rosie O’Donnell-Donald Trump feud was amusing for about ten minutes, but now the inevitable has happened. It’s become ugly and tedious and interminable, because both of these people are physically incapable of shutting the hell up.

Image via Celebrity Hijinx

JT and ScarJo hook up

2007-01-08T16:29:00.000-07:00

The story:
Justin Timberlake is reportedly hooking up with Scarlett Johannson.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Yet another reason to hate Justin Timberlake
A Socialite's Life says: JT confirms it's over with Diaz
Celebitchy says: Justin Timberlake and Scarlett Johannson? Doubtful
Dlisted says: Upgrade
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Cameron Diaz is forgettable

Who said it best:
If this rumour is true, then I Don't Like You In That Way thinks there's no hope for Cameron Diaz:

Choosing between Scarlett Johansson and Cameron Diaz is like choosing between a porter house steak and a corn dog that's been dropped in a urinal.

Keira Knightley is skinny

2007-01-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

The story:
Keira Knightley spent some time on the beach in Hawaii with her boyfriend.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Keira Knightley shows off her bikini bod
Celebitchy says: Keira Knightley in a bikini shows her relationship, diet are super-controlled
Dlisted says: Skinny ho
Egotastic says: The Keira Knightley nipple slip that almost was
Faded Youth says: Beach Body Alert: Keira Knightley edition
Hollywood Rag says: Keira Knightley is ultra fragile
I'm Not Obsessed says: It is your DUTY to go and eat a twinkie right now!
Lainey Gossip says: Keira Knightley: nature or torture?
Mollygood says: Keira narrowly avoids nip slip while showing off her washboard abs
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Keira Knightley and her boyfriend both have six packs
The Superficial says: Keira Knightley is way too fat
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Keira is in Hawaii. Hawaii, yaay!

Who said it best:
I'm Not Obsessed had a strange reaction to the photos:

I just got so hungry. Is that normal?

Image via Flynetonline

That ain't no way, to buy a baby!

2007-01-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

The story:
Angelina Jolie would not adopt a baby from a country where adoption is illegal, such as Malawi.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Angelina works one in on Madonna
A Socialite's Life says: Angelina slams Madonna's illegal adoption
Celebitchy says: Angelina Jolie answers Madonna's dig, one ups her
Dlisted says: Fighting words
Hollywood Rag says: Angelina Jolie weighs in on Madonna's adoption
I'm Not Obsessed says: Angelina Jolie on Madonna's adoption
Popsugar says: Angelina attacks Madonna
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Angelina Jolie uses some fighting words against Madonna
The Superficial says: Angelina Jolie thinks she's better than Madonna
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Angelina hates Madonna

Who said it best:
Dlisted hopes this doesn't turn into another celebrity feud:

Can’t we just get along? Angelina is not the queen of adoption! Mia Farrow is!

Image via A Socialite's Life

Brit's message to 2 remaining 'fans'

2007-01-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney posted another message on her website.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Britney speaks
Defamer says: Britney Spears pledges to be bigger, better vagina-flasher going forward
Dlisted says: Britney writes a letter
Faded Youth says: Britney takes to her website again
Haute Gossip says: Britney speaks
Hollywood Rag says: Britney Spears latest message on her website
I'm Not Obsessed says: Britney Spears' online message to her fans
Lainey Gossip says: Britney's mea culpa
Mollygood says: Britney stays home long enough to write you a letter
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Another serious message from Britney Spears on her site
The Superficial says: Britney Spears is losing it
Tabloid Whore says: Britney Spears reaches out to fans: "I know I've been far from perfect"

Who said it best:
Defamer doesn't think Brit can lay the blame on the pappies for this one:

We're not exactly sure what Spears' promise to come back "better than ever" entails, but we suspect that's she already booked her laser vagina-rejuvenation surgery, determined that she won't again have her image so easily tarnished by the cruel lenses of the cooch-exaggerating media.

Break up with the make up

2007-01-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

The story:
Dita Von Teese is divorcing Marilyn Manson.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Marilyn Manson is not the ideal husband
A Socialite's Life says: Marilyn Manson divorced by his satanic bride, hundreds brace for divorce is evil and was obviously invented by Christ concept album
Best Week Ever says: Good news ladies, Marilyn Manson is back on the market!
Celebitchy says: Dita Von Teese to surprise Marilyn Manson with divorce papers
CelebNewsWire says: Dita Von Teese to serve Marilyn Manson fiendish divorce papers from hell

Dlisted says: Dita wants out
Faded Youth says: Another one bites the dust
Hollywood Rag says: Dita Von Teese files for divorce from Marilyn Manson
I'm Not Obsessed says: Dita Von Teese is divorcing Marilyn Manson!
Popsugar says: Dita drops Manson
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Marilyn Manson is no longer Dita Von Teese's MAC daddy
Tabloid Whore says: I'd divorce him too

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire takes Von Teese at her word:

And when she says "too many demons," she means it literally. He keeps them as pets. Dita is tired of them trip-trapping around their home with their cloven hooves and leaving diabolical little stools on the flotaki rug.

Image via Tabloid Whore

Love's resolutions

2007-01-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

The story:
Courtney Love published a list of New Year's resolutions on her website.

The combatants:
CelebNewsWire says: Courtney Love: new year, new horse
Celebrity Hijinx says: New Years Recseroautions./sr. I mean 'resolutions'
Defamer says: Courtney Love pledges to stay pissed off, block out demon voices in '07
The Gilded Moose says: The Gilded Moose Red Pen: Courtney Love's New Year's resolutions
I'm Not Obsessed says: Courtney Love's New Year's resolution list
Metadish says: Courtney Love has a big year ahead of her
Mollygood says: Courtney Love is sooooo over her pony
Tabloid Whore says: Courtney Love takes on the New Year

Who said it best:
Celebrity Hijinx has some additions for Love's already lengthy list:

I can think of at least one additional, painfully obvious resolution - learn how to spell...or learn how to use spell/grammar check. Maybe that could be incorporated into her "learn at least three new skills" resolution. Courtney Love might be sober but her keyboard is getting drunker and drunker as the list goes on...

Lindsay's appendix is "exhausted"

2007-01-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

If you're 20-years-old, and you're not a coal miner or ultimate fighter, and you're in the hospital this much, something's up. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being stupid.

Justin and Cameron break up, again

2007-01-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

The story:
According to Star Magazine, Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have called it quits.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Justin confirms it?
Best Week Ever says: Cameron not getting d*** in a box?
Celebitchy says: Are Justin and Cameron finally over?
Celebrity Hijinx says: Rode the train to Splitsville for New Year's?
Defamer says: Did Justin Timberlake give Cameron Diaz a dump in a box this Christmas?
Hollywood Rag says: Justin Timberlake wants Scarlett Johansson
Mollygood says: Justin's New Years splash
Popsugar says: Are JT and Cameron really over?
The Superficial says: Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake may be broken up
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Timberlake is single, Jessica is not

Who said it best:
Defamer has some advice for Cammy to get her over the heartbreak:

Diaz might do well to take a page from her most recent disappointing chick flick screen heroine, and perhaps get out of town for a while by swapping homes with fellow cross-the-pond starlet dumpee Sienna Miller--the more distance the better as Justin goes about the guilt-free gifting of his box to groupies in the coming months.

Image via Star Magazine

The Firecrotch burns!

2007-01-03T19:53:00.000-07:00

The story:
Kfed tried to put the text message moves on Lindsay Lohan, but was promptly rebuffed.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Kfed's 15 minutes are really, really up
A Socialite's Life says: Karl would have thrown a shit fit
CelebSlam says: Kfed refuses to give up
Haute Gossip says: Blohan turns Kfed down for realz
I'm Not Obsessed says: Kevin Federline tried to kick it to Lindsay Lohan
Lainey Gossip says: Lindsay Lohan: sober AND smart?
Mollygood says: Kevin wants to keep his hyperactive sperm within the starlet A-list
Popsugar says: Kfed attempts to land LL
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Even Lindsay Lohan thinks Kfed is pathetic
The Superficial says: Kevin Federline hits on Lindsay Lohan
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Kfed is smooth, yo

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip is impressed with the 07 LiLo:

Drinking water AND rejecting losers AND at least several weeks since her last hospitalization? Am shocked…

Image via Lainey Gossip

Kid kicks in door

2007-01-03T17:54:00.000-07:00

The story:
Kid Rock heard that Pam Anderson was doing the dirty with ex-husband Tommy Lee, and attempted to kick in Lee's hotel room door. Naturally, he had the wrong room.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Kid Rock is a class act
A Socialite's Life says: Hell hath no fury like a Kid scorned
Best Week Ever says: Two complete trash balls prepare to fight each other over some sleazy bimbo
Dlisted says: Kid Rock is mad
Faded Youth says: Close...but no Tommy Lee
Haute Gossip says: Like a jealous kid
Hollywood Rag says: Kid Rock wants to kick Tommy Lee's butt
Popsugar says: Kid throws a tantrum
The Superficial says: Kid Rock scares innocent families
Tabloid Whore says: Kid Rock tries to kick Tommy Lee's ass. Fails miserably

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever feels a little sorry for Kid:

Other sources go on to report that Tommy Lee has gotten wind of Kid’s mistake, and has now started calling to taunt him. Nothing takes the sting out of a failed marriage quite like a daily voicemail from your ex-wife’s new lover, who just called to remind you how large his penis is.

Nap time for Brit, and keeps panties on too!

2007-01-02T15:28:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears passed out at 1am at the party she hosted at Las Vegas club Pure. Her rep claims she was just tired after a long day.

Girls don't get carried out of clubs because they get sleepy. They get carried out of clubs because they have puke in their hair and their panties in their purse.

Image via Haute Gossip

New Year's Eve canoodles, pt 2

2007-01-02T15:26:00.000-07:00

The story:
Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo were seen sucking face in New York City where she was hosting the MTV Goes Gold New Year's Eve countdown.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Out with the old, in with the new for Nick Lachey
Hollywood Rag says: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo kiss
Lainey Gossip says: Nick and Miss Vanessa: MTV pda
Mollygood says: Vanessa kisses Nick, goodbye her job in live tv
Popsugar says: Nick and Vanessa's NYE kiss
Yeeeah says: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo go for gold, tongue

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip is happy for the lovebirds:

Her game is so convincing, you have to be happy for a man who has found his Miss Sweetly Servile after too many years of enduring Miss Stupid.

Image via A Socialite's Life

New Year's Eve canoodles, pt 1

2007-01-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

The story:
Jessica Simpson and John Mayer were seen sucking face at the Hudson Hotel party thrown by Christina Aguilera.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Jessica Simpson makes out with her Plan B on New Year's Eve
Celebitchy says: John Mayer is toying with Jessica Simpson
CelebNewsWire says: Simpson and Mayer really dating, duet your mom will really love to follow Dlisted says: John and Jessica still together
Faded Youth says: Love is not pretty
Haute Gossip says: Jessica & John make it official
Lainey Gossip says: Jessica and John: bedside to Barneys
Popsugar says: Jessica and John's New Year kiss
The Superficial says: Jessica Simpson and John Mayer get it on in public

Who said it best:
Dlisted thinks Jess should be careful of what she wishes for:

They apparently spent the entire weekend together in NYC are both are happy that the media hasn’t really caught wind of them. Um…probably because they don’t care?

Nice day for a white trash wedding

2007-01-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

The story:
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty got *married* in a Buddhist ceremony in Thailand, which may or may not be legally binding.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Do you, Kate Moss, take this junkie?
A Socialite's Life says: Kate and Pete fake married?
Best Week Ever says: Kate and Pete decide, "Phuket, let's get married!"
Celebitchy says: Kate Moss and Pete Doherty didn't get married - or did they?
Dlisted says: Let's hope homegirl got a prenup
Gawker says: Pete Doherty faux-marries Kate Moss
Hollywood Rag says: Kate Moss and Pete Doherty secretly married
Mollygood says: So...that wedding happened
Popsugar says: Kate and Pete get married
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Mr and Mrs Pete Doherty
Yeeeah says: Kate and Pete tie the noose

Who said it best:
What Would Tyler Durden Do is in love with love:

It's kinda touching to see two drug addicted social deviants find love. It's like a fairytale, except instead of white horses and a carriage, Kate will go on her honeymoon hearing voices and yelling at demons, then wake up in a bathtub covered in someone elses blood. She's like a princess!

Image via A Socialite's Life

Jessucka won't honour Dolly

2006-12-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

The story:
Jessice Simpson attempted to sing '9 to 5' a second time for the Kennedy Center Dolly Parton tribute, but sucked so bad she asked to have it removed from the televised program.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Jessica Simpson nixes do-over
Dlisted says: Jessica is a big flop
I'm Not Obsessed says: Jessica Simpson gets removed from Dolly Parton tribute
Popsugar says: Jessica drops out of Dolly tribute
Yeeeah says: Jessica Simpson sucks bigtime

Who said it best:
Yeeeah thinks this may signal the cooling of Jess's formerly hot prospects:

Listen — do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Jessica’s Simpson’s career going straight down the crapper. And that rustling noise is the sound of Jess digging elbow-deep into a Ruffles bag and stuffing in fistfuls of potato chips while watching Vanessa Minillo on MTV and using her new CD “A Public Affair” as a coaster for her chocolate milkshake.

Stick wars

2006-12-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

The story:
Hilary Duff referred to Nicole Richie as a skank.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Hilary Duff gets bitter and judgemental
Dlisted says: Breaking: Hilary Duff uses the word 'skank'
Faded Youth says: Hilary to Nicole: skank!
Hollywood Tuna says: Hilary Duff gets a little skanky
Hollywood Rag says: Nicole Richie is a skank
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Nicole Richie is a skank
Popsugar says: Duff disses Nicole

Who said it best:
Dlisted thinks Hilary has the advantage in this one:

Stickfight! Hilary can totally use her horse teeth to cut Nicole in two!

Image via Gallery of the Absurd

Who's your daddy?

2006-12-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

The story:
Anna Nicole Smith is being forced to submit her baby to a DNA test for Larry Birkhead.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Anna Nicole's baby to find out who her real father is
Dlisted says: There is no hiding now for Anna Nicole
Faded Youth says: Who da babydaddy?
Glitterati Gossip says: Anna Nicole Smith ordered to submit daughter for paternity test
I'm Not Obsessed says: Howard K Stern is shaking in his boots

Who said it best:
Faded Youth is a little tired of Smith and her paternity drama:

My prediction? They're already on their way to a small Mexican city where we'll never hear from them again. (Coincidentally, that also my wish.)

What is living in Kirsten Dunst's colon?

2006-12-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

The story:
Kirsten Dunst purchased a Comprehensive Digestive Stool Analysis kit.

The combatants:
CelebNewsWire says: Crappy holidays from Kirsten Dunst
Dlisted says: Kiki's getting her caca checked!
Haute Gossip says: Kirsten has something stuck up her butt
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Kirsten Dunst is even more sexy
Mollygood says: Hope everything comes out ok, Kirsten
The Superficial says: Kirsten Dunst has horrible poo

Who said it best:
Dlisted thinks the kit may improve Kiki's public persona:

She’s probably been stuffed up for at least five years. That’s why she always has a frown on her mug.

Image via Dlisted

Britney's trash tour continues

2006-12-21T22:02:00.001-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears was asked to leave the stage at burlesque club Forty Deuce after she decided to *perform* with her friends.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Britney Spears: mother of the year
Celebitchy says: Button up Britney
CelebNewsWire says: Britney's back! (and so is her bra)
Dlisted says: I can't even comment anymore
Egotastic says: Britney Spears stripping at Forty Deuce
Faded Youth says: Dueling banj-hoes
Hollywood Rag says: Britney Spears tries to strip
Mollygood says: Someone get this woman a hog to straddle

Who said it best:
While the strip tease may have offended some, Mollygood is horrified for a whole other reason:

When the reports originally stated that the starlet "unzipped her top" it didn't even cross my mind that she could have been wearing a jean vest. A jean vest, people. Are there patches on that JEAN VEST? Maybe. It's just too bad it wasn't acid washed.

Image via Egotastic

Combover vs Clamshell

2006-12-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

The story:
Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell are engaged in a war of words which stems from her opinion about his handling of the Miss USA scandal.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: The Donald's Christmas gift to humanity
A Socialite's Life says: Trump sends Rosie Christmas greetings, refers to her as a clam
Best Week Ever says: Best showdown ever: Rosie v. Trump
Celebitchy says: Rosie vs. Trump in the 8th grade battle of the put downs
CelebNewsWire says: Rosie and Trump not feeling holiday love
Celebrity Hijinx says: Celebrity deathmatch 9: Rosie vs THE Donald
Defamer says: All Donald Trump wants for Christmas is for his lawyers to stick their hands into Rosie's fat-ass pockets
Dlisted says: Will they oil wrestle already?
Faded Youth says: Round 3!
Hollywood Rag says: Donald Trump quote of the day
I'm Not Obsessed says: Rosie O'Donnell vs Donald Trump: was it called for?
Lainey Gossip says: Trump on Rosie: Queen sized temper
Popsugar says: Trump and Rosie's crazy feud
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Round 1: Rosie vs the Donald
The Superficial says: Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell battle it out
Yeeeah says: The Donald and O'Donnell face off

Who said it best:
Yeeeah is not impressed with Trump's witty repartee:

Ah, the “fat loser” card. The moral high road. Donald Trump just effectively out-douched the most unlikeable woman on television in one fell swoop.

Image via A Socialite's Life

Scarlett and Josh buck the trend, stay together

2006-12-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

The story:
Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett are still / back together.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: It's ok everyone, Josh and Scarlett are together still
The Blemish says: Josh and Scarlett are back on
Dlisted says: Hot hair back with ScarJo?
Egotastic says: Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett are apparently not dunzo
Faded Youth says: All is well that ends well
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Josh Hartnett has done it again
Lainey Gossip says: Scarlett Johansson: a goddess is forgiving
Popsugar says: Are Scarlett and Josh back on?
The Superficial says: Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson back on
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Scarlett and Josh, part 2

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip is a little cynical about the timing of this reunion:

The most curious, curious coincidence. Scarlett and Josh c0-star in the Black Dahlia. Scarlett and Josh rumoured to split. Black Dahlia out on DVD next week. Scarlett and Josh reunite.

Image via A Socialite's Life

Is Jen crying over Brad's babies?

2006-12-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

The story:
Tabloid reports say that Jennifer Aniston is still upset about her break up with Brad, especially when confronted with photographic evidence of his happy family life.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: I hope someone gives Jen Aniston good news for Xmas
Defamer says: Inevitable tabloid report: pictures of perfect Jolie-Pitt baby plunges Aniston into depths of despair
I'm Not Obsessed says: Do you think Jen Aniston still cares about Brad Pitt?
Lainey Gossip says: Jen: tears and yoga
Popsugar says: Friends worried about Jen

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life understands how Shiloh's picture could have this effect on Aniston:

The very least that Fate could have done for Jen was to give her some kind of imperfection--but unfortunately for her, that baby is definitely still in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model.

Image via US Magazine

Match made in matchstick heaven

2006-12-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

The story:
Lara Flynn Boyle got married to some guy who isn't Jack Nicholson over the weekend.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Was Jack Nicholson aware of this?
Best Week Ever says: On tonight's Bones: Lara Flynn Boyle marries
Dlisted says: The original Nicole Richie got hitched
Glitterati Gossip says: Lara Flynn Boyle marries
I'm Not Obsessed says: Lara Flynn Boyle got married, and it wasn't to Jack Nicholson
Popsugar says: Lara Flynn Boyle got married
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Lara Flynn Boyle gets hitched
Yeeeah says: Lara Flynn Boyle gets married

Who said it best:
Yeeeah thinks it must be a slow news day if this story is making the rounds:

Yes. Lara fucking Flynn Boyle. That’s the best I can do today. Not one celebrity beaver, nobody parked the wrong way on the interstate. Sorry.

She should have had some knickers drawn on while she was at it

2006-12-20T16:06:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears took little sister Jamie Lynn to a seedy LA tattoo parlour, where she had a dice tattoo that she shares with Kfed changed.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Britney gets wholesome and takes her little sister to a tattoo parlor
Best Week Ever says: The Britney monster strikes again!
Celebrity Hijinx says: Looking good, girl
Dlisted says: BritBrit takes her kid sister to a tattoo parlor
Faded Youth says: Britney's new tattoo
Hollywood Rag says: Britney Spears and sister visit tattoo shop
I'm Not Obsessed says: Britney Spears gets a star tattoo
Lainey Gossip says: Britney Spears: relative thinking
Popsugar says: Did Britney cheat?
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Britney Spears is such a good role model for her sister...not!

Who said it best:
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! thinks this demonstrates how Brit has taken Jamie Lynn under her wing, showing her the finer points of being young and hip in Hollywood:

You know she is teaching her how to drink and go out without undies?

Image via Dlisted

Stone + Slater = crazy

2006-12-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

The story:
Christian Slater and Sharon Stone are dating.

The combatants:

A Socialite's Life says: Basic Instinct 3: Home for the holidays, starring Christian Slater and Sharon Stone
CelebNewsWire says: Christian Slater places untamed heart under Shazza Stone's Christmas tree
Dlisted says: Sharon Stone's special Christmas elf
Glitterati Gossip says: Sharon Stone and Christian Slater hook up
Hollywood Rag says: Sharon Stone is dating Christian Slater
Popsugar says: Christian Slater goes cougar hunting
Starpulse says: Sharon Stone and Christian Slater are dating

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life is really looking forward to the work the demise of this one will provide:

This can't possibly end without violence and/or someone's possessions being thrown on someone's front lawn--and until that happens, I'll be here waiting. With my laptop. So I can blog about it.

Image via A Socialite's Life

That's some spot on casting

2006-12-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

The story:
Tom Cruise is reportedly casting Victoria Beckham as an alien princess in an upcoming Scientology movie he is producing.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Victoria Beckham is an alien life form
Defamer says: Kirstie Allie enraged that Tom Cruise didn't first consider her for alien bride role in fictional 'thetan' movie
Dlisted says: Type casting
Hollywood Tuna says: Victoria Beckham to play a fake breasted alien in Scientology film
Metadish says: Another star is born
Popsugar says: Tom casts Victoria as an alien

Who said it best:
Metadish is already impressed with Posh's acting chops:

Victoria Beckham will further legitimize her career by starring as an alien bride in the Scientology film, The Thetan. The movie's director, Tom Cruise, says he chose Beckham because she is a "comic genius." The Acadamy should probably just give her an Oscar right now.

Image via Agent Bedhead

Battle of the Queens: Hot vs Not

2006-12-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

The story:
Reichen Luhmkuhl posted on his MySpace blog that a certain blogger is full of shit. And a meth addict and thief.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: When celebrities attack
A Socialite's Life says: Reichen vs Perez, round 1
Celebitchy says: Lance Bass' partner, Reichen, tells Perez to stuff it
Celebrity Hijinx says: I'm going to have to start a 'Celebrity MySpace Blog' column
Dlisted says: Reichen Lehmkuhl quote of the day
I'm Not Obsessed says: Reichen Lehmkuhl is mad! mad! mad!

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life would like to see this battle escalate:

Coming to your Live! From the MGM Grand in Las Vegas! I really do want to see these two fight in like an Ultimate Fighting Championship setting. I'm sure it wouldn't last long but it seems it would be very satisfying to a lot people.

Image via Gallery of the Absurd

Now that is a PR strategy

2006-12-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

The story:
Donald Trump announced that Miss USA Tara Conner would be given a second chance as long as she goes to rehab.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Un-terminated: the redemption of Tara Conner
A Socialite's Life says: Miss USA keeps her crown, thousands of Miss USA hopefuls nationwide splash champagne on their breasts and make out with their girlfriends in celebration
Best Week Ever says: Miss USA is officially coked-up slut!
Celebrity Hijinx says: Miss USA in rehab
Derek Hail says: Tara Conner keeps her crown
Dlisted says: Miss USA not fired!
Faded Youth says: Ok, so you're not fired
Mollygood says: Spot the fun Tara Conner Miss USA
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Tara Conner gets to keep her Miss USA crown
The Superficial says: Miss USA keeps her crown
Tabloid Whore says: Miss USA gets to keep the crown
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Miss USA keeps her crown
Yeeeah says: Donald Trump totally played us

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever is slightly cynical about the Donald's forgiveness:

Considering that we’ve never known the name of a Miss USA contestant ever before, it seems fitting that Tara should get a second chance — because, frankly, slutty cokeheads are the American way, and clearly, Donald sees that. We can’t wait to see how next year’s winner tops this publicity stunt.

Mel's love child

2006-12-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

The story:
A 29-year old Australian woman is claiming that she is Mel Gibson's love child.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Mel Gibson: racist babydaddy?
Celebitchy says: 29-year old claims to be Mel Gibson's illegitimate daughter
Defamer says: Mel Gibson's alleged back-of-a-station-wagon love child just needs a troubled father figure to help her through her thirties
Dlisted says: Is this Mel Gibson's long lost family?
Faded Youth says: Mel Gibson's secret love child!!!!!
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Is this Mel Gibson's love child?
The Superficial says: Mel Gibson has secret illegitimate children

Who said it best:
Faded Youth is sure that Mel will have a quick comeback:

When Mel was asked for comment he denied any knowledge of the situation, adding, "The Jews did it!"

Image via Seriously? OMG! WTF?!

Lohanapalooza - they're all whores!

2006-12-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

The story:
Another rambling Lindsay Lohan email is making it rounds, and in this one she claims stripping is hard work which has left her battered and bruised.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Swinging on pole bruises Lindsay's inner thighs, writes email about it
Best Week Ever says: Lohanvolution: update from HQ
CelebNewsWire says: Lindsay Lohan incurs stripper pole's wrath, gets bruised
Celebrity Hijinx says: Firecrotch hits the pole
Defamer says: Lohan via Blackberry: stripping is totally hard you guys!
Dlisted says: Blohan's pole dancing bruises
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan: topless dancer, bruised stripper
Faded Youth says: Lindsay has respect for strippers
Hollywood Rag says: Lindsay Lohan injured by strip pole
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Lindsay Lohan is colorful
I'm Not Obsessed says: Lindsay Lohan has bruises from poll dancing
Mollygood says: More than you ever needed to know about Lindsay's 'upper and innner thigh action'
Popsugar says: Stripping leaves Lindsay beat up
The Superficial says: Lindsay Lohan tries writing again, this time about strippers
Tabloid Whore says: Like she's never had bruised thighs before
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Lindsay really respects those c&nts
Yeeeah says: Lindsay Lohan does the stripper thing

Who said it best:
I personally love a trilogy, and Celebrity Hijinx has the inside scoop on this one:

Lindsay Lohan, best selling author, philosopher and spiritual leader, known for her social grace, elegance, beauty, glamour and fashion sense has already completed the third email in her prolific trilogy “The Painful, Unedited Fall of A Semi-Literate Movie Star.”

Image via X17

Canadian beaver soon available to pappies

2006-12-15T14:40:00.000-07:00

The story:
Paris Hilton was out partying with a new BFF, House of Wax co-star Elisha Cuthbert.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Elisha Cuthbert, your vagina is on notice
CelebNewsWire says: Paris Hilton corners her next victim
Egotastic says: Paris Hilton will ruin Elisha Cuthbert just like she ruined Britney Spears
Hollywood Tuna says: Could there be an Elisha Cuthbert upskirt in the near future?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Paris didn't defend Britney
Popsugar says: Stavros tries to tame Paris

Who said it best:
Unlike the Spearship, Egotastic doesn't think Paris is going to be the hot one here:

Oh, and yes, putting Paris Hilton side by side with the incredibly beautiful Elisha Cuthbert does make her look that much more retarded.

Image via Hollywood Tuna

Someone's been naughty

2006-12-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

The story:
The Donald is deciding if Miss USA Tara Conner is going to be stripped of her crown for her party-girl ways.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Tara Conner lives up to her namesake
A Socialite's Life says: Beauty pageant juicy gossip goodness
Dlisted says: Your new Miss USA
Faded Youth says: You're fired
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Miss USA got around
The Superficial says: Miss USA is out of control
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Miss USA is friendly

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life hopes this story lives up to its advance billing:

Miss USA gone wild! I hope one of the problems pageant officials are having with Conner include her fashioning her sash into a tiny thong bikini that she's been wearing whilst club-hopping.

Image via Faded Youth

Nix the Chicks

2006-12-14T21:41:00.000-07:00

The story:
The Dixie Chicks are rumoured to be breaking up after the Grammys.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Dixie Chicks dunzo
Best Week Ever says: Does the Dixie Chicks breaking up mean we've finally won the war on terror?
Celebitchy says: The Dixie Chicks are going to split up
Dlisted says: Don't break up Dixie Chicks
I'm Not Obsessed says: Dixie Chicks to split after Grammys?
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Are the Dixie Chicks breaking up?

Who said it best:
Like Britney and panties, Seriously? OMG! WFT?! doesn't think the breakup will last:

Even if they were to split, you know they will have a reunion tour in a few years.

Dylan not a Star Wars fan

2006-12-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

The story:
Bob Dylan does not like the way his *character* is portrayed in Factory Girl.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Ancient curmudgeon displeased with 'Factory Girl'
Defamer says: Bob Dylan understandably pissed about Hayden Christensen's version of himself in 'Factory Girl'
Hollywood Rag says: Bob Dylan vs The Factory Girl
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Bob Dylan tries to shut down Factory Girl?

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life thinks Dylan won't have a problem once he actually sees the movie:

Dylan must not have seen the Star Wars prequels. Anakin Skywalker wasn't convincing anyone of anything.

Image via ASL

Jail time for Stick-ole?

2006-12-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

The story:
California law may require Nicole Richie to serve mandatory time in jail if convicted of DUI as she has a previous conviction on her record.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Nicole might go inside
Celebitchy says: Nicole Richie has an earlier DUI and could be sent to jail for 5 days
CelebNewsWire says: Get your period, go to jail
Dlisted says: Is Nicole Richie going to the big house?
Faded Youth says: Is Nicole going to the slammer?
Hollywood Rag says: Nicole Richie might go to jail
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Nicole Richie is going to jail
Mollygood says: Nicole is (not) headed for the clink
The Superficial says: Nicole Richie has to go to jail
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: It's a Christmas miracle
Yeeeah says: Nicole Richie's DUI could mean jail time

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire thinks the jail time will be especially tough for Richie:

Five days might not seem like a lot to you, but imagine how poor Nicole must feel facing five full days packed with carby, trans fat-filled prison food and no Blackberry access. Oh well, at least she'll be popular with the inmates; they can use her hipbone as a shiv.

Open season on beaver comes to an end

2006-12-14T19:01:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are no longer BFF, after Britney was told by *her people* to start acting more adult if she wanted to launch a comeback.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Paris and Britney done?
Best Week Ever says: Who will become Britney's next bad influence?
CelebNewsWire says: Britney goes old school with boob flash
Dlisted says: But we've only just begun
Faded Youth says: The day the music died
Hollywood Rag says: Britney Spears buys her own CD
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Britney and Paris have broken up
I'm Not Obsessed says: Britney Spears told to stay away from Paris Hilton
Lainey Gossip says: Britney vs Hollywood Ebola: a fight brews?
Popsugar says: Britney and Paris break up
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: A moment of silence for Britney Spears and Paris Hilton's friendship?
The Superficial says: Britney Spears and Paris Hilton break up
What Would Tyler Durden Do says:

Who said it best:
I Don't Like You In That Way doesn't think much of the plan:

The only way Britney Spears could make a comeback is if she woke up tomorrow and wasn't Britney Spears.

Who needs a tell-all when we've already seen-all?

2006-12-13T15:46:00.000-07:00

The story:
Kfed is reportedly planning a tell-all memoir about his marriage to Britney.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Kfed to pretend he can write?
Best Week Ever says: Kfed planning to learn how to write?
CelebNewsWire says: Kfed pretends to know meaning of 'verb,' plans book
Faded Youth says: How low can you go? Just ask Kfed
Hollywood Rag says: Kfed plans Britney Spears tell all
Popsugar says: Kevin threatens Britney with tell-all book
The Superficial says: Kevin Federline wants to reveal secrets
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Kfed wants to write a book

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever is somewhat impressed with the new project:

While we’re not surprised to learn that Kevin is planning to wring every last drop of exploitative cash out of his marriage to Britney, we are both shocked and proud to learn that he is finally going to get around to conquering literacy.

The wedding as recruitment strategy

2006-12-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

The story:
Jim Carrey and Jennifer Lopez may be Scientology's newest members, thanks in part to Tom Cruise.

The combatants:
Defamer says: Jim Carrey and Jennifer Lopez's suppressive reps deflect rumors of Scientology involvement
Dlisted says: The Scientologists may have caught 2 more
Faded Youth says: Have JLo and Carey gone to the dark side?
Glitterati Gossip says: Does Scientology have 2 new recruits?
Haute Gossip says: Scientology snags some more
Hollywood Rag says: Jennifer Lopez and Jim Carrey convert to Scientology
Popsugar says: Tom and Katie successful Scientology recruiters?
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Is Tom Cruise the ultimate Scientology recruiter?
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: JLo and Jim Carrey are crazy now too

Who said it best:
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! doesn't understand why these 2 image conscious celebs would make the move to Scientology now:

Don’t they know Scientology is so passe?

Image via Abaca Press

PMS? Give me a break

2006-12-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

The story:
Nicole Richie claims that she was taking Vicodin because of menstrual cramps. And then she swatted a fly with a rocket launcher.

The combatants:
Dlisted says: Nicole Richie blames it on female trouble
Faded Youth says: Blame it on your rag
Haute Gossip says: Nicole pleads the PMS defense
Hollywood Rag says: Nicole Richie took Vicodin for her period
Lainey Gossip says: Nicole Richie: the Aunt Flow excuse
Mollygood says: Oh Nicole! She was on the rag, that's all
Popsugar says: Nicole's lame excuse
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Nicole Richie took the vicodin for cramps?
Tabloid Whore says: Nicole Richie blames it all on the cramps

Who said it best:
Faded Youth is tired of Nicole's excuses and has some advice:

Enough with the lies and cover-ups, Nicole! Eat a sandwich, get your ass into rehab and start talkin' the truth! We all know you're too skinny to menstrate in the first place!

At least she had Lohan's 7 days beat

2006-12-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

The story:
Tara Reid was out, about and shitfaced once again in London.

The combatants:
Dlisted says: Sarah Harding is the best!
Faded Youth says: Fall from grace
The Gilded Moose says: Tara Reid returns home
Mollygood says: Once, twice, three times a...oh, never mind
The Superficial says: Tara Reid still a drunken mess, sun still bright
What Would Tyler Durden Do says:

Who said it best:
The Gilded Moose is happy to see this Tara reemerge:

Welcome home, Tara. While we stood by silently as you left the comfort of skankitude for your brief vacation to respectability-world, we always knew our little girl would come back to us.

She's got a movie coming out this week, right?

2006-12-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

The story:
Angelina Jolie gives a revealing interview to Vogue.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Angelina finally comes clean
Celebitchy says: Angelina reveals her fear of intimacy, kinship with Brad in candid interview
Faded Youth says: Angelina reveals all to Vogue
Hollywood Rag says: Angelina Jolie reveals her love for Brad Pitt
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Angelina talks about Brad. And Jennifer
Lainey Gossip says: Angelina: on Brad, on marriage, on Jennifer
Popsugar says: Angelina talks about Brad, Jen and her family
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: How Anglina Jolie fell for Brad Pitt
Tabloid Whore says: Angelina Jolie welcomes sitting down and chatting with Jennifer Aniston

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip doesn't think the tete a tete with Aniston is likely to happen anytime soon:

I can’t see Jennifer Aniston wanting to go there on her own. But I can totally see her going there with Courteney Cox. Sort of like a wingman situation except Courteney would do all the talking.

It only took her 51 weeks to figure out the 12 steps

2006-12-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

The story:
Lindsay Lohan tells People that she hasn't had a drink in 7 days. And she's being going to AA for a year, by the way.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Lindsay's all, "Look at me, I'm in AA"
Celebitchy says: My name is Lindsay and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for one week
Defamer says: Lindsay Lohan takes 7 days off, hoping to get her tolerance down
Dlisted says: Lindsay Lohan hasn't had a drink in a week
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan doesn't understand the definition of Alcoholics Anonymous
Faded Youth says: Lilo's one week hiatus from booze
Hollywood Rag says: Lindsay Lohan strips and cuts off the booze
Lainey Gossip says: Lilo de-bloats?
Mollygood says: It's been 1 week since Lindsay Lohan had a drink...and boy is she thirsty
Popsugar says: Lindsay is dry
The Superficial says: Lindsay Lohan sober for a week

Who said it best:
It's no fun to make fun of someone who's honestly trying to get over an addication, but A Socialite's Life doesn't believe that is the case here:

Hmm, I wonder if the meetings still "count" if you're forcing your publicist's assistant to attend them for you. Can you be a member by proxy?

He's so cute y'all!

2006-12-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears was caught smooching a new man on the weekend, record producer JR Rotem.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Celebrity Math: you'll spontaneously shower edition
Celebrity Hijinx says: A day in the life
Dlisted says: Britney kisses new dude - not that exciting
Faded Youth says: Britney's mystery man a mystery no more
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Britney went on a date, got laid
I'm Not Obsessed says: Britney Spears caught kissing some dude
Lainey Gossip says: Britney...already???
Mollygood says: Brit Brit's got a brand new man
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Britney Spears was making out with her producer?
The Superficial says: Britney Spears kisses mystery man

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip has high hopes for this relationship:

Hopefully his gainful employment means he doesn't need to exercise the super sperm. I could go at least 6 months without seeing her pregnant... You?

Image via Mollygood

Kate Winslet hates the lollipop gang

2006-12-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

The story:
Kate Winslet finds the ultrathin look to be disturbing, and won't let her daughter look at fashion magazines.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Kate Winslet doesn't like teh skinny bitches either
A Socialite's Life says: Kate Winslet has a problem with the thin chicks
Dlisted says: Looks like Kate Bosworth isn't working with Kate Winslet anytime soon
Glitterati Gossip says: Kate Winslet slams skinny actresses
Hollywood Rag says: Kate Winslet bans fashion magazines
Popsugar says: Kate Winslet is disturbed by skinny chicks

Who said it best:
Dlisted isn't down with the lollipop look either:

I don’t know anyone that thinks Nicole Richie and Kate Bosworth look hot. Well, except my dog but he likes his bones on the lean side.

Image via A Socialite's Life

85lbs and high as a kite

2006-12-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

The story:
Nicole Richie was busted for DUI over the weekend. The booking sheet lists her as 5'1" and 85lbs.

Nicole Richie shows the amateurs how a substance-abusing pro earns a traffic stop: according to TMZ, Richie was popped very early this morning for driving the wrong way on the 134 in Burbank after two motorists, understandably alarmed by the sight of an SUV piloted by what seemed to be an eleven-year-old girl traveling against the flow of traffic, called 911.

Image via The Smoking Gun

Desperate for attention

2006-12-11T12:19:00.000-07:00

The story:
After a visit to the Playboy Mansion, Paris and Nicky Hilton posed together like 2 whores on a double stick.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Ugh
Celebitchy says: Paris and Nicky being pervy
Dlisted says: Trading crabs
Egotastic says: Paris Hilton gets kinky with sister Nicky
Faded Youth says: Trash
Haute Gossip says: Paris & Nicky are close
Hollywood Rag says: Paris Hilton is still embarassing
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Paris and Nicky are creepy
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Paris & Nicky Hilton's boyfriends' parents do not approve of them
The Superficial says: Paris & Nicky Hilton almost do it with each other
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: What the hell is this?

Who said it best:
Dlisted may have figured out what the pose was all about:

Maybe this is a seasonly occurence so their crabs can get some new scenery! You know the way birds fly south for the winter!

Image via Matrix Photos

Tori cleans house

2006-12-08T15:04:00.000-07:00

The story:
Tori Spelling is having an *estate sale* to get rid of her crap before moving.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Tori Spelling's garage sale starts now!
Celebitchy says: Tori Spelling's house is more shabby than chic
Defamer says: Tori Spelling yard sale not exactly a bargain hunter's paradise
Dlisted says: You know you want this
Haute Gossip says: Buy Tori's stuff - cheap!
Hollywood Rag says: Tori Spelling's garage sale today
Lainey Gossip says: Tori Spelling: own a piece of homewrecking history
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Want to see some of the things Tori Spelling is selling?
The Superficial says: Tori Spelling selling all her crap
Tabloid Whore says: The infamous Tori Spelling estate sale

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip is not impressed with Tori's goods:

Girl lives like a geriatric bird collector…is this what the Spelling mansion looks like?

Image via Seriously? OMG! WFT?!

Brangelina wedding -- I don't think so

2006-12-08T14:29:00.000-07:00

The story:
Rumours are circulating that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will wed in South Africa over Christmas. Oh yeah, Oprah is on the invite list.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Brangelina to marry in South Africa on Christmas?
Celebitchy says: Brad and Angelina's supposed Christmas wedding
Dlisted says: Angelina Jolie to make an honest woman out of Brad Pitt
I'm Not Obsessed says: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to wed in Africa?
Popsugar says: Brad and Angelina tying the knot?
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Brad and Angelina planning a Christmas wedding in South Africa?
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: A Christmas wedding?

Who said it best:
I'm Not Obsessed gives kudos for creativity to this story's authors:

The Sun really does know how to make up a good story eh?

Image via Popsugar

Paris' new rock

2006-12-08T13:46:00.000-07:00

The story:
Paris Hilton was spotted wearing a large ring on her left hand, fueling speculation that she may be engaged to Stavros Niarchos -- or she's just fucking with us all for some publicity that doesn't require her to flash her cooter.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Paris flashing something other than her vagina
Dlisted says: Please, she got that from a cracker jack box
Egotastic says: Paris Hilton's supposed engagement is as fake as that ring
Faded Youth says: Does Hilton have a new man and BFF?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Is Paris engaged?
I'm Not Obsessed says: Is Paris Hilton engaged to Stavros Niarchos?
Mollygood says: Gentlemen, retire your penises, Paris Hilton may be off the market forever
Popsugar says: Is Paris engaged again?
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Is Paris Hilton engaged or is it a publicity stunt?
The Superficial says: Paris Hilton is engaged. Maybe

Who said it best:
Most don't believe that this signals an actual engagement, but in any case A Socialite's Life has some sound advice for Stavros:

That poor Niarchos bastard. Run for the hills, buddy. That is - if your pin hasn't fallen off yet from all the disease.

Image via Popsugar

How does this guy stay out of jail?

2006-12-07T16:20:00.000-07:00

The story:
Pete Doherty got in a fight with an actor who fell 2 stories to his death shortly afterwards.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Doherty diety report: trouble is his business
Best Week Ever says: Realizing his constant drug busts are boring us, Pete Doherty finally kills someone
Celeb Warship says: Pete Doherty steps up his crazy game
Dlisted says: Actor falls to his death after fighting with Pete Doherty
Hollywood Grind says: Pete Doherty questioned in actor's death
Popsugar says: Pete to be questioned in friend's death
Yeeeah says: Pete Doherty questioned in man's death

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever appreciates the fact that Pete is working hard to keep us titillated:

Possibly realizing that the “Pete Doherty Got Busted For Drugs Again - AGAIN!” headlines would only keep our attention for so long, the latest reports surrounding the scandal-addled one-time rocker suggest that Pete might have played a part in the tragic death of an actor who fell from a third-story balcony only minutes after the two got into a scuffle

Image via Agent Bedhead

Gore to help Lohan achieve adequite-ness

2006-12-07T15:48:00.000-07:00

The story:
Lindsay Lohan wrote another rambling message to her friends and lawyers claiming Al Gore was going to help her in a war on the media.

I'm so tired now. This is tiring. Reading should not be exhausting.

But the key is you have to put the underwear on...

2006-12-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears posted a message on her website attempting to explain recent behaviour.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Britney speaks
Best Week Ever says: Britney Spears vagina jokes officially dead
Celebitchy says: Britney Spears in half-assed attempt to mend her image
CelebNewsWire says: Britney flaps her lips - this time, via written word
Celebrity Hijinx says: Questionable Quotes: B.S.
Defamer says: Britney Spears to rediscover joys of family, temperance, panties
Dlisted says: Britney speaks!
Faded Youth says: Britney Spears, confessions of a party girl
Haute Gossip says: A message from Britney
Hollywood Rag says: A message from Britney Spears
I'm Not Obsessed says: Britney Spears addresses her fans on her website
Lainey Gossip says: Britney's perfect defense
Mollygood says: Britney never expected us to care so much about seeing her naughty place
Popsugar says: Britney's new message
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Britney Spears sends a message to her fans via her site!
The Superficial says: Britney Spears talks about her behavior
Tabloid Whore says: And now, a word from Britney Spears...
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Britney is just having fun y'all

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire doesn't think much of the *apology*:

What we take issue with is Britney's claim that she hasn't been able to have fun or party for the past two years. And this is because . . . why? She hasn't been busy working. Or learning how to use a car seat. Or perfecting the art of personal grooming. Maybe cleaning skid marks out of Federline undies really tires a girl out (not to mention makes her recoil at the mere site of undergarments).

Image via BritneySpears.com

Andy is a dick

2006-12-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

The story:
Andy Dick used the 'n' word on stage in a desperate bid for attention.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Proof that Andy Dick has overplayed the "offensive" card
CelebSlam says: Now Andy Dick hates black people
Defamer says: Andy Dick not ready to give up his beloved n-bombs
Dlisted says: Andy Dick wants you to read this
The Superficial says: Andy Dick hops on the bandwagon

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life knows which of Santa's list Andy is looking to be on:

In the spirit of Michael Richards and Mel Gibson, Andy Dick decided it was his turn to play "naughty celebrity."

Image via A Socialite's Life

It's official: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were having a relationship

2006-12-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

The story:
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: A Jennifer Aniston black dress moment
A Socialite's Life says: Aniston and Vince Vaughn over - wasn't that already kind of a done deal?
Celebitchy says: The prolonged breakup - Vaughn and Aniston
CelebNewsWire says: Vaughniston split over Hungarian indiscretion
Defamer says: Aniston and Vaughn break up again, probably for real this time
Dlisted says: Jen and Vince break up for real
Faded Youth says: The Break-Up
The Gilded Moose says: Jennifer Aniston, Harriet Tubman call it quits
Glitterati Gossip says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: Hollywood's most famous un-couple break up
Haute Gossip says: No love for Jen?
Hollywood Rag says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: it's really over!
I'm Not Obsessed says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up
Lainey Gossip says: Jennifer Aniston, eternal victim
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Vaughniston breaks up, no Oprah special planned
Mollygood says: Jen and Vince split, horror of horro--wait, they were still together?
Popsugar says: Jen and Vince call it quits
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: I guess there isn't going to be a sequel to The Break Up
The Superficial says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn really break up this time
Tabloid Whore says: It's finally official: Jen and Vince are finished
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Vince and Jennifer are done

Who said it best:
Defamer knows who ended this *relationship*:

It seems that a committee of interested publicists, agents, lawyers, producing partners, and film executives have finally decided that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston can finally end their loose, unconvincing public association as a Hollywood power couple and pursue separate careers

Image via Faded Youth

Yawn -- boring couple breaks up

2006-12-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

The story:
Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody of The OC have broken up.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Adam and Rachel appear to be finito
Celebitchy says: Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody broke up
CelebNewsWire says: Summer and Seth's IRL bustup
Dlisted says: They were actually kind of cute together
Egotastic says: Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody are dunzo
Faded Youth says: Yawn, they're over. Next!
Lainey Gossip says: About Rachel and Adam
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Breaking up is the new black
Mollygood says: Rachel and Adam: Noooooooooooooooooo
Popsugar says: Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson split
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson are like over
The Superficial says: Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody break up
Tabloid Whore says: Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody have (sniff) broken up
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Rachel Bilson is single
Yeeeah says: Rachel Bilson is single

Who said it best:
Egotastic thinks the blogosphere won't get much mileage out of this break up:

According to Life & Style, it seems as though the split was mutual, so there isn't even any good post-relationship mudslinging to be had. Bummer.

Image via Yeeeah

Next on a very special Maury

2006-12-05T13:36:00.000-07:00

The story:
Eddie Murphy claims that ex-girlfriend Scary Spice's baby may not be his, and that he will be asking for a paternity test after the child is born.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Eddie Murphy's playing some f*cked up babydaddy shit
Celebitchy says: Eddie Murphy moves on from knocked up Scary with record speed
CelebNewsWire says: "You shouldn't jump to conclusions, sir."
Dlisted says: Eddie Murphy and Mel B not together?
I'm Not Obsessed says: Eddie Murphy now questioning paternity?
Lainey Gossip says: Eddie Murphy: baby momma drama curiously timed
Yeeeah says: Eddie Murphy not Scary baby daddy?

Who said it best:
Celebitchy seems to know where the denial stems from:

Maybe he couldn’t stand the fact that Mel couldn’t pass for a tranny when she was knocked up

Image via Dlisted

Jessucka blows at Kennedy Center

2006-12-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

At least Ashlee can finally say that Jessica is copying her. I bet Ashlee is loving this. I know I am.

JLo busts a g-string

2006-12-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

The story:
Jennifer Lopez was photographed with butt crack hanging out of her jeans, and what looked like the remains of a broken thong.

The combatants:
Celebitchy says: The latest celeb not wearing panties is...
CelebNewsWire says: JLo shows a bit of what's BLo
Dlisted says: I think I see a dingleberry
Lainey Gossip says: JLo: the incomparable ass and a potential hair crisis
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Jennifer Lopez wears jeans with no underwear

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire mourns the story this could have been last year:

We can no longer be titillated by a slice of J.Lo crack. What will be next to fall from gossip hound graces? The sheer blouse? The red-carpet nip slip? You are killing our art, Britney.

Brit's b-day, complete with panties and half-wedgie

2006-12-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears celebrated her 25th birthday over the weekend by showing off some of the new panties she purchased last week.

The combatants:
Celebitchy says: Britney turned 25, but where was Paris?
CelebNewsWire says: Britney Spears panty party! Britney Spears panty party!
Dlisted says: Breaking news: BritBrit wears panties
Haute Gossip says: Brit flashes us AGAIN
I'm Not Obsessed says: Britney Spears gets her cake and shows off her panties
Lainey Gossip says: Britney Spears at 25
Mollygood says: You know Brit don't give a 'f' cause it's her birthday
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Britney spends her 25th birthday wearing panties!!!
The Superficial says: Britney Spears turns 25

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip is impressed with Brit's work ethic:

Britney may be borderline learning impaired but she’s also one of the best, one of the most manipulative famewhores in the business, as you can see from her open antics at Mr. Chow during her birthday dinner.

Image via FlyNetOnline.com

Gwynnie says Yanks are dumb

2006-12-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

The story:
Gwyneth Paltrow told a Portuguese newspaper that, "The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans."

She seems to lack the seventh-sense of irony, but I do find it rather amusing to hear an actress bitch about the follies of capitalism when she accepted $3.6 million for a three-minute cameo appearance.

George loses longtime companion

2006-12-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

The story:
George Clooney's pet pig died at age 18.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: George Clooney's pig turns into a bacon angel
Defamer says: George Clooney's 300lb pig companion dies; huge turnout expected at bbq tribute
Dlisted says: RIP Max
The Gilded Moose says: First serious post ever: George Clooney's pig dies
Glitterati Gossip says: Obituary of the day: Max the pig (1998-2006)
Lainey Gossip says: George Clooney: sadness and hotness
Popsugar says: Clooney's pig RIP
Tabloid Whore says: George Clooney's pig kicks the bucket

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip knows why this story is important to us:

And as is the case with most things related to George, even the fact that he had a pet pig makes him hot.

Puh-lease!

2006-12-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

The story:
Kfed may be getting his own reality show.

The combatants:
Celebitchy says: Kfed is trying to get a reality show
Defamer says: Kevin Federline's hamburger flipping adventures to be subject of new reality series
Dlisted says: House of Kfed?
Faded Youth says: House of kfed
Glitterarit Gossip says: Kfed gets his own reality show
US Magazine Online says: Kevin Federline to do reality tv show

Who said it best:
Defamer can see how the show might be a positive for Kfed:

As Britney Spears continues on her gum smacking, vagina-flashing, Jager-Bomb-slamming party exploits with "Auntie Paris" (as her children have been explicitly instructed to now refer to the new blonde lady in their lives who keeps ashing into their plastic Cheerios containers), suddenly Kevin Federline comes off looking not so bad.

Short man's honeymoon cut short

2006-12-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

The story:
Tom and Katie had to cut their honeymoon short due to bad weather.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Extraterrestrials fail to shield Tom and Katie from rain
Celebrity Hijinx says: Ahoy Matee
Dlisted says: Tom Cruise smells
Faded Youth says: They're baaaaaaack!
Lainey Gossip says: Little Sci comes home
Mollygood says: They're baaaack!
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: TomKat's marriage off to a stormy start

Who said it best:
Mollygood thinks the time away may have enabled the celebrity couple to establish the ground rules for the marriage:

At least Tom seems to have embraced his role as the shorter parent next to his towering bride.

Image via Splash News

We may have seen our last fake celebrity coke booger

2006-12-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

The story:
Mario Lavandiera is being sued by the top seven paparazzi agencies in the US for copyright infringement.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Perez Hilton off to court
Celebitchy says: Britney's vag marked the end of an era
Faded Youth says: It has been a bad week for Perez Hilton
Jossip says: X17 sues Perez Hilton - for real this time
TMZ.com says: Perez Hilton sued for $7.5 million

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life doesn't believe everyone out there is dismayed at this news:

Somewhere, Lance Bass, Neil Patrick Harris, T.R. Knight, Jesse Metcalfe, Matt Dallas, and Jodie Foster are clinking champagne glasses and howling with laughter. Clay Aiken has already passed out after drunk dialing Perez several times, at first pretending he was Paris and feigning sympathy, and then screaming "suck it, nerd!" and hanging up.

GQ's obsession throws hissyfit of the year

2006-12-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

The story:
Lindsay Lohan threw a hissyfit at the GQ Men of the Year dinner because her former assistant was there with Jessica Biel, causing Will Ferrell to remark, "Who cares about that freak anymore, anyway?"

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Lindsay unaware they weren't giving out award for most annoying drunk
Best Week Ever says: Lohan still "Drivin' that train, high on cocaine"
Celebitchy says: Lohan is approaching has been territory
CelebNewsWire says: Jessica Biel takes the high road, Lindsay takes the Lo(han) road
Defamer says: Breaking: Lohan drinks, yells at someone, finds self subject of unflattering Page Six item
Dlisted says: Another Blohan post
Faded Youth says: Lindsay's alcohol-fueled tirade
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Lindsay Lohan is out of her mind
I'm Not Obsessed says: Lindsay Lohan doesn't like her ex-assistants at parties
Lainey Gossip says: Everybody hates Lindsay
Mollygood says: Will Ferrell vs. Lindsay Lohan: it's on bitches
Popsugar says: Lindsay sounds like a brat

Who said it best:
Celebrity Hijinx thinks Ferrell should be rewarded:

Does Will Ferrell have a new movie out? If so, go see it. Or buy it as a stocking stuffer. Support Will Ferrell!!

Image via Lainey Gossip

Desperate no more

2006-11-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

The story:
Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are engaged.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Desparate Housewife Eva getting married
Dlisted says: Tony Parker is going to regret this
Haute Gossip says: Engaged!
I'm Not Obsessed says: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are engaged
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker make marriage their first step towards divorce
Popsugar says: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker engaged!
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Eva Longoria to be a desparate housewife to Tony Parker
Tabloid Whore says: Tony Parker pops the question

Who said it best:
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! is not thrilled by this announcement:

Oh no, now we are not going to stop hearing all about her wedding plans.

Image via Haute Gossip

Since we didn't get that sex tape...

2006-11-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney Spears' first husband Jason Alexander is going to write a book about his time with the pop tart.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Britney's horrible taste in men will haunt her until the day she dies
Best Week Ever says: Britney's first poor marriage decision adorably lapping up last drops of his own relevance
Celebitchy says: Britney's first husband to write tell-all book
CelebNewsWire says: In lieu of Britney vag, we bring you Britney sex tales
Lainey Gossip says: Britney: everyone has a story
Popsugar says: Everybody's talking about Britney

Who said it best:
Celebitchy explains why Alexander decided to write the tell-all now:

He claims there’s no way he would get back with Britney again. This seems to be a turnaround from his previous statements that he still loves her. Chances are he saw her once-coveted snatch online like the rest of us.

Image via lime-light.org

AA? But Paris said she was a coked-out whore!

2006-11-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

The story:
Lindsay Lohan was reportedly spotted outside an AA meeting at 7:30am.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: From now on, nothing but catblogging
A Socialite's Life says: Lindsay in AA?
Best Week Ever says: Lindsay L has some bad news for the country's comedy writers
CelebNewsWire says: Lindsay Lohan finally does something sensible
Defamer says: It's like, yeah motherfucker, I'm making a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself (12st book)
Dlisted says: Linds in AA?!
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan is an alcoholic
Faded Youth says: L.L. in A.A.
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Lindsay Lohan is an alcoholic
Lainey Gossip says: Lilo: no dirty face at GQ
Mollygood says: Lindsay Lohan woke up at 7:30?!?
Popsugar says: Lindsay attends GQ & AA
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Is Lindsay Lohan going to AA?
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Lindsay Lohan is in AA?

Who said it best:
Defamer is concerned about the ripple effect that this news could have on the gossip industry:

A gossip-bomb dropped in today's Page Six could soon have the tabloids bracing for massive layoffs, paparazzi seriously exploring the possibility of returning to law school, and cause the immediate shuttering of up to a third of Hollywood's most exclusive nightclubs: Lindsay Lohan may have decided it's time to dry out

The View is a little blurry for DeVito

2006-11-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

The story:
Danny DeVito was drunk when he appeared on The View to discuss his new movie "Deck the Halls."

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Danny DeVito had to get loaded just to endure Elisabeth Hasselback, thousands come out in support
Best Week Ever says: Unemployment check: DeVito's low tolerance shocker
Celebitchy says: Video of drunk Danny DeVito on The View
Celebrity Hijinx says: Drunkity drunk
Defamer says: Danny DeVito figures out secret to dealing with ladies of 'The View'
Mollygood says: Night and day
Tabloid Whore says: Danny DeVito toasty on The View?

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life places the blame with the sexiest drinking buddy alive:

You know Clooney was like "Danny, m'boy, that blond skirt might be ok to look at, but she's real f*cking annoying. Drink up!"

New nose, now she's perfect

2006-11-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

The story:
Cameron Diaz had her nose fixed because she couldn't breathe properly after breaking it.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Cameron Diaz still claims her nose job is medically necessary
Dlisted says: Cameron Diaz: "I'm perfect!"
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Cameron Diaz finally got her schnoz fixed
Popsugar says: Cameron is perfect
The Superficial says: Cameron Diaz talks about marriage, her new nose

Who said it best:

I Don't Like You In That Way is not buying Cameron's reasons for the surgery:

Which, of course, would be a great excuse if we didn't know she's always had a big man-honker.

Image via A Socialite's Life

Kfed is a cheater as well as a deadbeat

2006-11-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

The story:
Kfed reportedly cheated on Britney with porn star Kendra Jade.

The combatants:
Allie is Wired says: Kevin Federline cheated on Britney Spears with Kendra Jade?
A Socialite's Life says: Kfed messed around with porn star?
Best Week Ever says: The more you (wish you didn't) know: Kfed's other woman
Dlisted says: Did Kfed cheat on Britney with her?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Kevin Federline cheated with porn star
Lainey Gossip says: Kfed and Kendra Jade...and Lukas Rossi?
Popsugar says: Did Kfed cheat with a porn star?
The Superficial says: Kevin Federline cheated on Britney Spears with a porn star

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever thinks Kfed's new lady is a keeper:

It’s good to see that Kevin’s moving up in the world. It’s about time he found himself a girl he could take home to mom.

Image via The Superficial

PETA critiques celeb fashion

2006-11-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

The story:
Nicole Richie topped PETA's 2006 worst dressed list.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: PETA's after Nicole Richie
Best Week Ever says: PETA picking of every tiny actress
Popsugar says: Do you agree with PETAs worst dressed?
The Superficial says: Nicole Richie pisses off PETA
Tabloid Whore says: PETA unveals 2006 worst dressed list

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever is grateful for the critique:

Nicole’s a bitch, Ashley’s anorexic, Christina has a giant forehead and Eva plays a whore on TV. If those aren’t reasons to stay away from fur, I don’t know what is. Thanks PETA!

Image via A Socialite's Life

The power of the Borat

2006-11-28T15:10:00.000-07:00

The story:
Page Six is reporting that Pam and Kid's marriage failed over a fight about her appearance in Borat.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Cultural learnings of homewrecking for make benefit Borat
A Socialite's Life says: Borat, not drunken shot-gun wedding, wrecked Pam and Kid Rock's marriage
Celebitchy says: Borat causes Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock split
Defamer says: Borat now accused of ending doomed celebrity marriages
Dlisted says: Pam's marriage ends due to Borat?!?
Glitterati Gossip says: Did 'Borat' break up Pam and Kid Rock?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Borat broke up Pam and Kid
Mollygood says: Shocker! Kid Rock is kind of a dick
Popsugar says: The reason behind Pam and Kid's split?
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Blame Borat for Pam and Kid's divorce
The Superficial says: Borat breaks up Pam Anderson and Kid Rock
Tabloid Whore says: Kid Rock is an angry, insecure man

Who said it best:
I Don't Like You In That Way thinks Kid needs a little perspective on the situation:

Pam's had more condoms inside her than a gas station bathroom. If her playing pretend with Borat makes you jealous, you've got problems. She's done worse things with your friend when you run to the store to get more beer.

Is Owen going to propose?

2006-11-28T15:04:00.000-07:00

The story:
Owen Wilson was spotted looking at engagement rings with his mother.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Is the Butterscotch Stallion ready to settle down?
Celebitchy says: Owen Wilson might be popping the question to Kate Hudson
Glitterati Gossip says: Is Owen planning to pop the big Q?
The Gossip Fix says: Owen Wilson is engagement ring shopping for Kate Hudson
Haute Gossip says: Christmas engagement for Kate and Owen?
Holy Candy says: Hear those wedding bells?
In Case You Didn't Know says: Owen Wilson goes ring shopping
Popsugar says: Owen shops for a ring
Showbiz Vixen says: Owen Wilson to propose
The Superficial says: Owen Wilson to propose to Kate Hudson

Who said it best:
Holy Candy is not surprised at the news:

It's about time. She's been single for, what, four months now?

Image via Popsugar

Let's hope it was filmed post-Knoxville

2006-11-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

The story:
Rumours are swirling about a Jessica Simpson - Nick Lachey sex tape that may have fallen into the wrong hands (ie Papa Joe Simpson).

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Jessica Simpson's dad owns a video camera
CelebNewsWire says: Jessica Suckson caught on tape
Egotastic says: Jessica Simpson sex tape!!!!!!
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Jessica Simpson has a sex tape
Tabloid Whore says: Jessica and Nick named in latest sex tape rumor
Yeeeah says: Jessica Simpson sex tape

Who said it best:
I Don't Like You In That Way worries about the tape's effect on Nick:

If anybody should be horrified about seeing this sex tape, it's Nick Lachey. It'd be like a Vietnam vet hearing a firecracker.

Image via Egotastic

Who could it be?

2006-11-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

The story:
Nicole Richie posted a *blind* item on her MySpace.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Nicole Richie gains a few pounds and a backbone
A Socialite's Life says: I'm guessing Nicole's split with Rachel Zoe wasn't too amicable
Best Week Ever says: Anorexic finger pointing escalates to poorly worded, error-ridden MySpace blog
Celebitchy says: Nicole Richie vs. Rachel Zoe, it's on
CelebNewsWire says: "Tasty former stylist skewers" -- the closest Nicole Richie gets to food
Defamer says: Nicole Richie's MySpace blog a place for writing blind items about former friends
Dlisted says: Nicole Richie's blind item
Hollywood Rag says: Nicole Richie posts blind item
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Rachel Zoe is a good guess
I'm Not Obsessed says: Nicole Richie vs Rachel Zoe: the battle continues
Mollygood says: Raisin lettuce face cup vs. N-rich: fight

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life isn't really taking sides, but...:

In the stylist's defense, I have to give her some credit for making Nicole look half-way human.... Does anyone else recall a lot of pink halter tops and denim shorts way back on The Simple Life season one?

Hair today, gone tomorrow

2006-11-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

The story:
Jessica Simpson reportedly lost a contract with Miu Miu because she insisted on using Ken Paves as a stylist.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: A girl with some serious hair loyalty
Lainey Gossip says: Jessica Simpson: compromised by assy hair
Popsugar says: Jessica misses out on Miu Miu
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Ken Paves costing Jessica Simpson jobs?

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip understands why Jess would stick with her mane man:

But perhaps it’s a good thing…that Jessie’s staying close to the trailer, not willing to alienate the only folks who find her appealing.

Mother Paris

2006-11-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

The story:
Paris and Britney went shopping in LA, and Paris was photographed holding SPF.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Britney's comeback continues to take a dark turn
Dlisted says: Kfed now has a case in this custody battle thing
The Gilded Moose says: 'This scarf is heavy,' by Paris Hilton
Haute Gossip says: No one can help you if you won't help yourself
Popsugar says: Will Britney turn into Paris?

Who said it best:
Dlisted is worried about SPFs medical well-being:

Why?! What did that kid do to deserve a STD? I mean now that Paris has touched him you know he has one.

Image via Splash News

More TomFat wedding news

2006-11-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

The story:
Janet Charleton reports that Tom Cruise wore a girdle under his Armani suit because he'd gained 20 "emotional eating" pounds prior to the wedding.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Tom Cruise hasn't left the house without lycra on these hips since he was 16 years old
Celebitchy says: Tom Cruise wore a girdle under his wedding suit
CelebNewsWire says: Tom Cruise gets fashion tips from your grandma
Haute Gossip says: Tub-o Tommy needed a girdle for that tux
Hollywood Rag says: Tom Cruise wore a girdle
Janet Charleton's Hollywood says: Tom Cruise: it's a cinch
Spank Cheeks says: Cruise admits to being an emotional eater

Who said it best:
Spank Cheeks gives us a vision the newlyweds honeymoon:

I can only imagine how Kate was feeling as she donned her L. Ron Hubbard Mask and watched him slink out of that sexy number.

Ho Ho Ho and I don't mean Merry Christmas

2006-11-27T15:55:00.000-07:00

The story:
The Trifecta of Trash were photographed out partying together.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Yeah, this is a step up
A Socialite's Life says: Huh?
Dlisted says: That was fast: Brit, Paris and Lohan back together
Egotastic says: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em: Lindsay Lohan makes nice with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
Hollywood Rag says: Bottoms down Britney Spears
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Lindsay Lohan is pathetic
I'm not Obsessed says: I'm confused! Are Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan fighting or what?
Lainey Gossip says: Paris and Lindsay and the Britney sandwich
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says:
Mollygood says: Lindsay is finally one of the Mean Girls
Popsugar says: The new threesome: Lindsay, Brit, and Paris
The Superficial says: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears complete unholy trinity

Who said it best:
The Superficial is worried about the signals these 3 are sending:

I'm a little rusty on the Bible but I'm pretty sure this is at least one or two signs of the apocalypse. You put these three together in a car and whatever disease crawls out will most likely end the world. It'll be a strain of STD so great and powerful it'll have claws and a face and be the size of a full grown bear.

Image via X17 online

Four weddings and a divorce

2006-11-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

The story:
Pam Anderson filed for divorce from Kid Rock after 4 wedding ceremonies and 4 months of marriage.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Pam Anderson does not promise to love, honor and cherish
A Socialite's Life says: Pam kicks the Rock
Best Week Ever says: It's time for Kid to tell the kids that daddy won't be coming home anymore
Celebitchy says: Woah! Pam Anderson filed for divorce from Kid Rock
CelebNewsWire says: Pam Anderson puts her enormous fake breasts back on the market
Celebrity Hijinx says: That didn't take long
Defamer says: Pamela Anderson's latest doomed marriage fizzles before the 5 month itch
Dlisted says: Pam Anderson files for divorce
Haute Gossip says: Pam has filed for divorce
Hollywood Rag says: Pamela Anderson files for divorce
Lainey Gossip says: No PamRock, no marriage
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: What is this world coming to?
Mollygood says: Pam and Kid flee the altar. Well, that was quick
Popsugar says: Pam Anderson and Kid divorce
The Superficial says: Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock divorce
Tabloid Whore says: Doh! Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock divorcing

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire is stunned by the news:

we thought Pam and Kid's shared love of plastic palookas contrained by teeny bikinis, PBR, and rabbit-like sex in public (we assume) would be enough to last at least a year or two.

Image from GQ via Haute Gossip

JHo cumming soon

2006-11-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

The story:
Jennifer Lopez is not happy about an upcoming porn titled "Jenny on the c*ck".

The combatants:
Dlisted says: A Jennifer Lopez biopic
Glitterati Gossip says: JLo steamed about the JHo film
Hollywood Daily says: Jennifer Lopez spoofed in porn movie
I'm Not Obsessed says: Jennifer Lopez to be spoofed in x-rated film
Yeeeah says: JLo porno

Who said it best:
Yeeeah doesn't think the movie's producers put much effort into the name:

“Jenny on the Cock”? That’s the best they could do? Please.

At least she's still wearing panties

2006-11-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

The story:
Britney and Paris are still partying like BFF, in LA this time, and Britney managed to flash her panties for the paparazzi.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Britney slumming again
Celebrity Hijinx says: Rock out with her cock out (almost)
Dlisted says: The STD twins are out again!
Egotastic says: Britney Spears joins the upskirt club
Gossip or Truth says: Britney and Paris part II
Haute Gossip says: Double your pleasure
Lainey Gossip says: Britney & Paris: inseparable in LA
Mollygood says: This used to be Kfed's playground
Popsugar says: Britney makes it so hard
The Superficial says: Britney Spears takes lessons from Paris Hilton

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip would like to be a fly on the wall when these party girls hit the club:

Given that she willingly married Kevin Federline and was pimped into superstardom by her parents before learning how to spell properly, Britney’s intellectual capabilities likely hover somewhere around Jessica Simpson’s and since we all know Paris Hilton is as dumb as f&ck (thank you Tina Fey), I can’t even imagine the size of the cerebral black hole that undoubtedly opens up in the universe whenever these two get together.

Image via Britney.com

Gossip Blog Wars!

Celebutard Justice at last!

Carpet, drapes, match

No, no just no

Kfed not even employable in fast food industry

Paris' privates on view for $40

Deviated septum?

A years worth of AA may finally pay off

Is there another bun in that overexposed oven?

Hey hey Paula

Now we now where Lilo gets the classy from

Any warm-blooded mammal will do

Bionic Bikini Woman, starring Lindsay Lohan

Here come the Beckhams

Drew not so Fab anymore

Marilyn Manson is really creeeeeeepy

Paris to concentrate on acting

Rosie and Donald and Barbara, oh my

JT and ScarJo hook up

Keira Knightley is skinny

That ain't no way, to buy a baby!

Brit's message to 2 remaining 'fans'

Break up with the make up

Love's resolutions

Lindsay's appendix is "exhausted"

Justin and Cameron break up, again

The Firecrotch burns!

Kid kicks in door

Nap time for Brit, and keeps panties on too!

New Year's Eve canoodles, pt 2

New Year's Eve canoodles, pt 1

Nice day for a white trash wedding

Jessucka won't honour Dolly

Stick wars

Who's your daddy?

What is living in Kirsten Dunst's colon?

Britney's trash tour continues

Combover vs Clamshell

Scarlett and Josh buck the trend, stay together

Is Jen crying over Brad's babies?

Match made in matchstick heaven

She should have had some knickers drawn on while she was at it

Stone + Slater = crazy

That's some spot on casting

Battle of the Queens: Hot vs Not

Now that is a PR strategy

Mel's love child

Lohanapalooza - they're all whores!

Canadian beaver soon available to pappies

Someone's been naughty

Nix the Chicks

Dylan not a Star Wars fan

Jail time for Stick-ole?

Open season on beaver comes to an end

Who needs a tell-all when we've already seen-all?

The wedding as recruitment strategy

PMS? Give me a break

At least she had Lohan's 7 days beat

She's got a movie coming out this week, right?

It only took her 51 weeks to figure out the 12 steps

He's so cute y'all!

Kate Winslet hates the lollipop gang

85lbs and high as a kite

Desperate for attention

Tori cleans house

Brangelina wedding -- I don't think so

Paris' new rock

How does this guy stay out of jail?

Gore to help Lohan achieve *adequite-ness*

But the key is you have to put the underwear on...

Andy is a dick

It's official: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were having a relationship

Yawn -- boring couple breaks up

Next on a very special Maury

Jessucka blows at Kennedy Center

JLo busts a g-string

Brit's b-day, complete with panties and half-wedgie

Gwynnie says Yanks are dumb

George loses longtime companion

Puh-lease!

Gore to help Lohan achieve adequite-ness